Meisterschaft

M. Oh, I see.

A. So they're going to neither eat, sleep, smoke, nor speak the truth till they've crammed home the whole fifteen Meisterschafts auswendig!

M. Noble hearts!

A. They've given themselves till day after to-morrow, half-past 7 P.M., and then they'll arrive here loaded.

M. Oh, how lovely, how gorgeous, how beautiful! Some think this world is made of mud; I think it's made of rainbows. (Memorising.) Wenn irgend moglich, so mochte ich noch heute Vormittag dort ankommen, da es mir sehr daran gelegen ist--Annie, I can learn it just like nothing!

A. So can I. Meisterschaft's mere fun--I don't see how it ever could have seemed difficult. Come! We can't be disturbed here; let's give orders that we don't want anything to eat for two days; and are absent to friends, dead to strangers, and not at home even to nougat peddlers--

M. Schon! and we'll lock ourselves into our rooms, and at the end of two days, whosoever may ask us a Meisterschaft question shall get a Meisterschaft answer--and hot from the bat!

BOTH. (Reciting in unison.) Ich habe einen Hut fur meinen Sohn, ein Paar Handschuhe fur meinen Bruder, und einen Kamm fur mich selbst gekauft. [Exeunt.]

Enter Mrs. BLUMENTHAL, the Wirthin.

WIRTHIN. (Solus.) Ach, die armen Madchen, sie hassen die deutsche Sprache, drum ist es ganz und gar unmoglich dass sie sie je lernen konnen. Es bricht mir ja mein Herz ihre Kummer uber die Studien anzusehen... Warum haben sie den Entchluss gefasst in ihren Zimmern ein Paar Tagezu bleiben?... Ja--gewiss--das versteht sich; sie sind entmuthigt--arme Kinder!(A knock at the door.) Herein!

Enter GRETCHEN with card.

GR. Er ist schon wieder da, und sagt dass er nur Sie sehen will. (Hands the card.) Auch-WIRTHIN. Gott im Himmel--der Vater der Madchen? (Puts the card in her pocket.) Er wunscht die Tochter nicht zu treffen? Ganz recht; also, Du schweigst.

GR. Zu Befehl.WIRTHIN. Lass ihn hereinkommen.

GR. Ja, Frau Wirthin! [Exit GRETCHEN.]

WIRTHIN. (Solus.) Ah--jetzt muss ich ihm die Wahrheit offenbaren.

Enter Mr. STEPHENSON.

STEPHENSON. Good-morning, Mrs. Blumenthal--keep your seat, keep your seat, please. I'm only here for a moment--merely to get your report, you know. (Seating himself.) Don't want to see the girls--poor things, they'd want to go home with me. I'm afraid I couldn't have the heart to say no. How's the German getting along?

WIRTHIN. N-not very well; I was afraid you would ask me that. You see, they hate it, they don't take the least interest in it, and there isn't anything to incite them to an interest, you see. And so they can't talk at all.

S. M-m. That's bad. I had an idea that they'd get lonesome, and have to seek society; and then, of course, my plan would work, considering the cast-iron conditions of it.

WIRTHIN. But it hasn't, so far. I've thrown nice company in their way-- I've done my very best, in every way I could think of--but it's no use; they won't go out, and they won't receive anybody. And a body can't blame them; they'd be tongue-tied--couldn't do anything with a German conversation. Now, when I started to learn German--such poor German as I know--the case was very different: my intended was a German. I was to live among Germans the rest of my life; and so I had to learn. Why, bless my heart! I nearly lost the man the first time he asked me--I thought he was talking about the measles. They were very prevalent at the time. Told him I didn't want any in mine. But I found out the mistake, and I was fixed for him next time... Oh yes, Mr. Stephenson, a sweetheart's a prime incentive.

S. (Aside.) Good soul! she doesn't suspect that my plan is a double scheme--includes a speaking knowledge of German, which I am bound they shall have, and the keeping them away from those two young fellows-- though if I had known that those boys were going off for a year's foreign travel, I--however, the girls would never learn that language at home; they're here, and I won't relent--they've got to stick the three months out. (Aloud.) So they are making poor progress? Now tell me--will they learn it--after a sort of fashion, I mean--in three months?

WIRTHIN. Well, now, I'll tell you the only chance I see. Do what I will, they won't answer my German with anything but English; if that goes on, they'll stand stock-still. Now I'm willing to do this: I'll straighten everything up, get matters in smooth running order, and day after to-morrow I'll go to bed sick, and stay sick three weeks.

S. Good! You are an angel? I see your idea. The servant girl--

WIRTHIN. That's it; that's my project. She doesn't know a word of English. And Gretchen's a real good soul, and can talk the slates off a roof. Her tongue's just a flutter-mill. I'll keep my room--just ailing a little--and they'll never see my face except when they pay their little duty-visits to me, and then I'll say English disorders my mind. They'll be shut up with Gretchen's windmill, and she'll just grind them to powder. Oh, they'll get a start in the language--sort of a one, sure's you live. You come back in three weeks.

S. Bless you, my Retterin! I'll be here to the day! Get ye to your sick-room--you shall have treble pay. (Looking at watch.) Good! I can just catch my train. Leben Sie wohl! [Exit.]

WIRTHIN. Leben Sie wohl! mein Herr!

ACT II. SCENE I.

Time, a couple of days later. The girls discovered with their work and primers.

ANNIE. Was fehlt der Wirthin?

MARGARET. Das weiss ich nicht. Sie ist schon vor zwei Tagen ins Bett gegangen--

A. My! how fliessend you speak!

M. Danke schon--und sagte dass sie nicht wohl sei.

A. Good? Oh no, I don't mean that! no--only lucky for us--glucklich, you know I mean because it'll be so much nicer to have them all to ourselves.

M. Oh, naturlich! Ja! Dass ziehe ich durchaus vor. Do you believe your Meisterschaft will stay with you, Annie?

A. Well, I know it is with me--every last sentence of it; and a couple of hods of Ollendorff, too, for emergencies. Maybe they'll refuse to deliver--right off--at first, you know--der Verlegenheit wegen--aber ich will sie spater herausholen--when I get my hand in--und vergisst Du das nicht!

M. Sei nicht grob, Liebste. What shall we talk about first--when they come?

A. Well--let me see. There's shopping--and--all that about the trains, you know--and going to church--and--buying tickets to London, and Berlin, and all around--and all that subjunctive stuff about the battle in Afghanistan, and where the American was said to be born, and so on--and-- and ah--oh, there's so many things--I don't think a body can choose beforehand, because you know the circumstances and the atmosphere always have so much to do in directing a conversation, especially a German conversation, which is only a kind of an insurrection, anyway. I believe it's best to just depend on Prov--(Glancing at watch, and gasping.)-- half-past--seven!

M. Oh, dear, I'm all of a tremble! Let's get something ready, Annie! (Both fall nervously to reciting): Entschuldigen Sie, mein Herr, konnen Sie mir vielleicht sagen wie ich nach dem norddeutschen Bahnhof gehe? (They repeat it several times, losing their grip and mixing it all up.)

BOTH. Herein! Oh, dear! O der heilige--

Enter GRETCHEN.

GRETCHEN (Ruffled and indignant.) Entschuldigen Sie, meine gnadigsten Fraulein, es sind zwei junge rasende Herren draussen, die herein wollen, aber ich habe ihnen geschworen dass--(Handing the cards.)

M. Due liebe Zeit, they're here! And of course down goes my back hair! Stay and receive them, dear, while I--(Leaving.)

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