THERE is a slumber so deep that it annihilates time. It is like a
fragment of eternity. Beneath its enchantment of vacancy, a day
seems like a thousand years, and a thousand years might well pass as
one day.
It was such a sleep that fell upon Hermas in the Grove of Daphne. An
immeasurable period, an interval of life so blank and empty that he
could not tell whether it was long or short, had passed over him
when his senses began to stir again. The setting sun was shooting
arrows of gold under the glossy laurel-leaves. He rose and stretched
his arms, grasping a smooth branch above him and shaking it, to make
sure that he was alive. Then he hurried back toward Antioch,
treading lightly as if on air.
The ground seemed to spring beneath his feet. Already his life had
changed, he knew not how. Something that did not belong to him had
dropped away; he had returned to a former state of being. He felt as
if anything might happen to him, and he was ready for anything. He
was a new man, yet curiously familiar to himself--as if he had
done with playing a tiresome part and returned to his natural state.
He was buoyant and free, without a care, a doubt, a fear.
As he drew near to his father's house he saw a confusion of servants
in the porch, and the old steward ran down to meet him at the gate.
"Lord, we have been seeking you everywhere. The master is at the
point of death, and has sent for you. Since the sixth hour he calls
your name continually. Come to him quickly, lord, for I fear the
time is short."
Hermas entered the house at once; nothing could amaze him to-day.
His father lay on an ivory couch in the inmost chamber, with
shrunken face and restless eyes, his lean fingers picking
incessantly at the silken coverlet.
"My son!" he murmured; "Hermas, my son! It is good that you have
come back to me. I have missed you. I was wrong to send you away.
You shall never leave me again. You are my son, my heir. I have
changed everything. Hermas, my son, come nearer--close beside me.
Take my hand, my son!"
The young man obeyed, and, kneeling by the couch, gathered his
father's cold, twitching fingers in his firm, warm grasp.
"Hermas, life is passing--long, rich, prosperous; the last sands,
I--cannot stay them. My religion, a good policy--Julian was my
friend. But now he is gone--where? My soul is empty--nothing
beyond--very dark--I am afraid. But you know something better.
You found something that made you willing to give up your life for
it--it must have been almost like dying--yet you were happy.
What was it you found? See, I am giving you everything. I have
forgiven you. Now forgive me. Tell me, what is it? Your secret, your
faith--give it to me before I go."
At the sound of this broken pleading a strange passion of pity and
love took the young man by the throat. His voice shook a little as
he answered eagerly:
"Father, there is nothing to forgive. I am your son; I will gladly
tell, you all that I know. I will give you the secret of faith.
Father, you must believe with all your heart, and soul, and strength
in--"
Where was the word--the word that he had been used to utter night
and morning, the word that had meant to him more than he had ever
known? What had become of it?
He groped for it in the dark room of his mind. He had thought he
could lay his hand upon it in a moment, but it was gone. Some one
had taken it away. Everything else was most clear to him: the terror
of death; the lonely soul appealing from his father's eyes; the
instant need of comfort and help. But at the one point where he
looked for help he could find nothing; only an empty space. The word
of hope had vanished. He felt for it blindly and in desperate haste.
"Father, wait! I have forgotten something--it has slipped away
from me. I shall find it in a moment. There is hope--I will tell
you presently--oh, wait!"
The bony hand gripped his like a vice; the glazed eyes opened wider.
"Tell me," whispered the old man; "tell me quickly, for I must go."
The voice sank into a dull rattle. The fingers closed once more, and
relaxed. The light behind the eyes went out.
Hermas, the master of the House of the Golden Pillars, was keeping
watch by the dead.
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