Much Ado About Nothing: Act 5

1   2   3   4   5   6  

LEONATO
I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

DOGBERRY
Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth; and I praise God for you.

LEONATO
There's for thy pains.

DOGBERRY
God save the foundation!

LEONATO
Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee.

DOGBERRY
I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which I beseech your worship to correct yourself, for the example of others. God keep your worship! I wish your worship well; God restore you to health! I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it! Come, neighbour.

Exeunt DOGBERRY and VERGES

LEONATO
Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell.

ANTONIO
Farewell, my lords: we look for you to-morrow.

DON PEDRO
We will not fail.

CLAUDIO
To-night I'll mourn with Hero.

LEONATO
[To the Watch] Bring you these fellows on. We'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.

Exeunt, severally

SCENE II. LEONATO'S garden

Enter BENEDICK and MARGARET, meeting

BENEDICK
Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands by helping me to the speech of Beatrice.

MARGARET
Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty?

BENEDICK
In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come over it; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it.

MARGARET
To have no man come over me! why, shall I always keep below stairs?

BENEDICK
Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth; it catches.

MARGARET
And yours as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not.

BENEDICK
A most manly wit, Margaret; it will not hurt a woman: and so, I pray thee, call Beatrice: I give thee the bucklers.

MARGARET
Give us the swords; we have bucklers of our own.

BENEDICK
If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the pikes with a vice; and they are dangerous weapons for maids.

MARGARET
Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs.

Exit

BENEDICK
And therefore will come.

[Sings]
The god of love,
That sits above,
And knows me, and knows me,
How pitiful I deserve,--

I mean in singing; but in loving, Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of these quondam carpet-mangers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self in love. Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried: I can find out no rhyme to 'lady' but 'baby,' an innocent rhyme; for 'scorn,' 'horn,' a hard rhyme; for, 'school,' 'fool,' a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: no, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms.

Enter BEATRICE

Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I called thee?

BEATRICE
Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.

BENEDICK
O, stay but till then!

BEATRICE
'Then' is spoken; fare you well now: and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came; which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio.

BENEDICK
Only foul words; and thereupon I will kiss thee.

BEATRICE
Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed.

BENEDICK
Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio undergoes my challenge; and either I must shortly hear from him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And, I pray thee now, tell me for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?

BEATRICE
For them all together; which maintained so politic a state of evil that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did you first suffer love for me?

BENEDICK
Suffer love! a good epithet! I do suffer love indeed, for I love thee against my will.

BEATRICE
In spite of your heart, I think; alas, poor heart! If you spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours; for I will never love that which my friend hates.

BENEDICK
Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.

BEATRICE
It appears not in this confession: there's not one wise man among twenty that will praise himself.

BENEDICK
An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that lived in the lime of good neighbours. If a man do not erect in this age his own tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than the bell rings and the widow weeps.

BEATRICE
And how long is that, think you?

BENEDICK
Question: why, an hour in clamour and a quarter in rheum: therefore is it most expedient for the wise, if Don Worm, his conscience, find no impediment to the contrary, to be the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much for praising myself, who, I myself will bear witness, is praiseworthy: and now tell me, how doth your cousin?

 

1   2   3   4   5   6  

Contents