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DON JOHN
[To CLAUDIO] Means your lordship to be married
to-morrow?
DON PEDRO
You know he does.
DON JOHN
I know not that, when he knows what I know.
CLAUDIO
If there be any impediment, I pray you discover it.
DON JOHN
You may think I love you not: let that appear
hereafter, and aim better at me by that I now will
manifest. For my brother, I think he holds you
well, and in dearness of heart hath holp to effect
your ensuing marriage;--surely suit ill spent and
labour ill bestowed.
DON PEDRO
Why, what's the matter?
DON JOHN
I came hither to tell you; and, circumstances
shortened, for she has been too long a talking of,
the lady is disloyal.
CLAUDIO
Who, Hero?
DON PEDRO
Even she; Leonato's Hero, your Hero, every man's Hero:
CLAUDIO
Disloyal?
DON JOHN
The word is too good to paint out her wickedness; I
could say she were worse: think you of a worse
title, and I will fit her to it. Wonder not till
further warrant: go but with me to-night, you shall
see her chamber-window entered, even the night
before her wedding-day: if you love her then,
to-morrow wed her; but it would better fit your honour
to change your mind.
CLAUDIO
May this be so?
DON PEDRO
I will not think it.
DON JOHN
If you dare not trust that you see, confess not
that you know: if you will follow me, I will show
you enough; and when you have seen more and heard
more, proceed accordingly.
CLAUDIO
If I see any thing to-night why I should not marry
her to-morrow in the congregation, where I should
wed, there will I shame her.
DON PEDRO
And, as I wooed for thee to obtain her, I will join
with thee to disgrace her.
DON JOHN
I will disparage her no farther till you are my
witnesses: bear it coldly but till midnight, and
let the issue show itself.
DON PEDRO
O day untowardly turned!
CLAUDIO
O mischief strangely thwarting!
DON JOHN
O plague right well prevented! so will you say when
you have seen the sequel.
Exeunt
SCENE III. A street
Enter DOGBERRY and VERGES with the Watch
DOGBERRY
Are you good men and true?
VERGES
Yea, or else it were pity but they should suffer
salvation, body and soul.
DOGBERRY
Nay, that were a punishment too good for them, if
they should have any allegiance in them, being
chosen for the prince's watch.
VERGES
Well, give them their charge, neighbour Dogberry.
DOGBERRY
First, who think you the most desertless man to be
constable?
First Watchman
Hugh Otecake, sir, or George Seacole; for they can
write and read.
DOGBERRY
Come hither, neighbour Seacole. God hath blessed
you with a good name: to be a well-favoured man is
the gift of fortune; but to write and read comes by nature.
Second Watchman
Both which, master constable,--
DOGBERRY
You have: I knew it would be your answer. Well,
for your favour, sir, why, give God thanks, and make
no boast of it; and for your writing and reading,
let that appear when there is no need of such
vanity. You are thought here to be the most
senseless and fit man for the constable of the
watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your
charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men; you are
to bid any man stand, in the prince's name.
Second Watchman
How if a' will not stand?
DOGBERRY
Why, then, take no note of him, but let him go; and
presently call the rest of the watch together and
thank God you are rid of a knave.
VERGES
If he will not stand when he is bidden, he is none
of the prince's subjects.
DOGBERRY
True, and they are to meddle with none but the
prince's subjects. You shall also make no noise in
the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to
talk is most tolerable and not to be endured.
Watchman
We will rather sleep than talk: we know what
belongs to a watch.
DOGBERRY
Why, you speak like an ancient and most quiet
watchman; for I cannot see how sleeping should
offend: only, have a care that your bills be not
stolen. Well, you are to call at all the
ale-houses, and bid those that are drunk get them to bed.
Watchman
How if they will not?
DOGBERRY
Why, then, let them alone till they are sober: if
they make you not then the better answer, you may
say they are not the men you took them for.
Watchman
Well, sir.
DOGBERRY
If you meet a thief, you may suspect him, by virtue
of your office, to be no true man; and, for such
kind of men, the less you meddle or make with them,
why the more is for your honesty.
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