Much Ado About Nothing: Act 3

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URSULA
She's limed, I warrant you: we have caught her, madam.

HERO
If it proves so, then loving goes by haps:
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps.

Exeunt HERO and URSULA

BEATRICE
[Coming forward]
What fire is in mine ears? Can this be true?
Stand I condemn'd for pride and scorn so much?
Contempt, farewell! and maiden pride, adieu!
No glory lives behind the back of such.
And, Benedick, love on; I will requite thee,
Taming my wild heart to thy loving hand:
If thou dost love, my kindness shall incite thee
To bind our loves up in a holy band;
For others say thou dost deserve, and I
Believe it better than reportingly.

Exit

SCENE II. A room in LEONATO'S house

Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO

DON PEDRO
I do but stay till your marriage be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.

CLAUDIO
I'll bring you thither, my lord, if you'll vouchsafe me.

DON PEDRO
Nay, that would be as great a soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to show a child his new coat and forbid him to wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for his company; for, from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string and the little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue speaks.

BENEDICK
Gallants, I am not as I have been.

LEONATO
So say I methinks you are sadder.

CLAUDIO
I hope he be in love.

DON PEDRO
Hang him, truant! there's no true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched with love: if he be sad, he wants money.

BENEDICK
I have the toothache.

DON PEDRO
Draw it.

BENEDICK
Hang it!

CLAUDIO
You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

DON PEDRO
What! sigh for the toothache?

LEONATO
Where is but a humour or a worm.

BENEDICK
Well, every one can master a grief but he that has it.

CLAUDIO
Yet say I, he is in love.

DON PEDRO
There is no appearance of fancy in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today, a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the shape of two countries at once, as, a German from the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would have it appear he is.

CLAUDIO
If he be not in love with some woman, there is no believing old signs: a' brushes his hat o' mornings; what should that bode?

DON PEDRO
Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

CLAUDIO
No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him, and the old ornament of his cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls.

LEONATO
Indeed, he looks younger than he did, by the loss of a beard.

DON PEDRO
Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: can you smell him out by that?

CLAUDIO
That's as much as to say, the sweet youth's in love.

DON PEDRO
The greatest note of it is his melancholy.

CLAUDIO
And when was he wont to wash his face?

DON PEDRO
Yea, or to paint himself? for the which, I hear what they say of him.

CLAUDIO
Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is now crept into a lute-string and now governed by stops.

DON PEDRO
Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him: conclude, conclude he is in love.

CLAUDIO
Nay, but I know who loves him.

DON PEDRO
That would I know too: I warrant, one that knows him not.

CLAUDIO
Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in despite of all, dies for him.

DON PEDRO
She shall be buried with her face upwards.

BENEDICK
Yet is this no charm for the toothache. Old signior, walk aside with me: I have studied eight or nine wise words to speak to you, which these hobby-horses must not hear.

Exeunt BENEDICK and LEONATO

DON PEDRO
For my life, to break with him about Beatrice.

CLAUDIO
'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret have by this played their parts with Beatrice; and then the two bears will not bite one another when they meet.

Enter DON JOHN

DON JOHN
My lord and brother, God save you!

DON PEDRO
Good den, brother.

DON JOHN
If your leisure served, I would speak with you.

DON PEDRO
In private?

DON JOHN
If it please you: yet Count Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of concerns him.

DON PEDRO
What's the matter?

 

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