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MOTH
A wonder, master! here's a Costard broken in a shin.
ARMADO
Some enigma, some riddle: come, thy l'envoy; begin.
COSTARD
No enigma, no riddle, no l'envoy; no salve in the
mail, sir: O, sir, plantain, a plain plantain! no
l'envoy, no l'envoy; no salve, sir, but a plantain!
ARMADO
By virtue, thou enforcest laughter; thy silly
thought my spleen; the heaving of my lungs provokes
me to ridiculous smiling. O, pardon me, my stars!
Doth the inconsiderate take salve for l'envoy, and
the word l'envoy for a salve?
MOTH
Do the wise think them other? is not l'envoy a salve?
ARMADO
No, page: it is an epilogue or discourse, to make plain
Some obscure precedence that hath tofore been sain.
I will example it:
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
There's the moral. Now the l'envoy.
MOTH
I will add the l'envoy. Say the moral again.
ARMADO
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
MOTH
Until the goose came out of door,
And stay'd the odds by adding four.
Now will I begin your moral, and do you follow with
my l'envoy.
The fox, the ape, and the humble-bee,
Were still at odds, being but three.
ARMADO
Until the goose came out of door,
Staying the odds by adding four.
MOTH
A good l'envoy, ending in the goose: would you
desire more?
COSTARD
The boy hath sold him a bargain, a goose, that's flat.
Sir, your pennyworth is good, an your goose be fat.
To sell a bargain well is as cunning as fast and loose:
Let me see; a fat l'envoy; ay, that's a fat goose.
ARMADO
Come hither, come hither. How did this argument begin?
MOTH
By saying that a Costard was broken in a shin.
Then call'd you for the l'envoy.
COSTARD
True, and I for a plantain: thus came your
argument in;
Then the boy's fat l'envoy, the goose that you bought;
And he ended the market.
ARMADO
But tell me; how was there a Costard broken in a shin?
MOTH
I will tell you sensibly.
COSTARD
Thou hast no feeling of it, Moth: I will speak that l'envoy:
I Costard, running out, that was safely within,
Fell over the threshold and broke my shin.
ARMADO
We will talk no more of this matter.
COSTARD
Till there be more matter in the shin.
ARMADO
Sirrah Costard, I will enfranchise thee.
COSTARD
O, marry me to one Frances: I smell some l'envoy,
some goose, in this.
ARMADO
By my sweet soul, I mean setting thee at liberty,
enfreedoming thy person; thou wert immured,
restrained, captivated, bound.
COSTARD
True, true; and now you will be my purgation and let me loose.
ARMADO
I give thee thy liberty, set thee from durance; and,
in lieu thereof, impose on thee nothing but this:
bear this significant [Giving a letter]
to the country maid Jaquenetta:
there is remuneration; for the best ward of mine
honour is rewarding my dependents. Moth, follow.
Exit
MOTH
Like the sequel, I. Signior Costard, adieu.
COSTARD
My sweet ounce of man's flesh! my incony Jew!
Exit MOTH
Now will I look to his remuneration. Remuneration!
O, that's the Latin word for three farthings: three
farthings--remuneration.--'What's the price of this
inkle?'--'One penny.'--'No, I'll give you a
remuneration:' why, it carries it. Remuneration!
why, it is a fairer name than French crown. I will
never buy and sell out of this word.
Enter BIRON
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