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PROTEUS
Sirrah, I say, forbear. Friend Valentine, a word.
VALENTINE
My ears are stopped and cannot hear good news,
So much of bad already hath possess'd them.
PROTEUS
Then in dumb silence will I bury mine,
For they are harsh, untuneable and bad.
VALENTINE
Is Silvia dead?
PROTEUS
No, Valentine.
VALENTINE
No Valentine, indeed, for sacred Silvia.
Hath she forsworn me?
PROTEUS
No, Valentine.
VALENTINE
No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn me.
What is your news?
LAUNCE
Sir, there is a proclamation that you are vanished.
PROTEUS
That thou art banished--O, that's the news!--
From hence, from Silvia and from me thy friend.
VALENTINE
O, I have fed upon this woe already,
And now excess of it will make me surfeit.
Doth Silvia know that I am banished?
PROTEUS
Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom--
Which, unreversed, stands in effectual force--
A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears:
Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd;
With them, upon her knees, her humble self;
Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them
As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding tears,
Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chafed him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of biding there.
VALENTINE
No more; unless the next word that thou speak'st
Have some malignant power upon my life:
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolour.
PROTEUS
Cease to lament for that thou canst not help,
And study help for that which thou lament'st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art hence;
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate:
Come, I'll convey thee through the city-gate;
And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love-affairs.
As thou lovest Silvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me!
VALENTINE
I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my boy,
Bid him make haste and meet me at the North-gate.
PROTEUS
Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valentine.
VALENTINE
O my dear Silvia! Hapless Valentine!
Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS
LAUNCE
I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to
think my master is a kind of a knave: but that's
all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now
that knows me to be in love; yet I am in love; but a
team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who
'tis I love; and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I
will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milkmaid; yet
'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips; yet 'tis
a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for
wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel;
which is much in a bare Christian.
Pulling out a paper
Here is the catalogue of her condition.
'Imprimis: She can fetch and carry' -- Why, a horse
can do no more: nay, a horse cannot fetch, but only
carry; therefore is she better than a jade. 'Item:
She can milk;' look you, a sweet virtue in a maid
with clean hands.
Enter SPEED
SPEED
How now, Signior Launce! what news with your
mastership?
LAUNCE
With my master's ship? why, it is at sea.
SPEED
Well, your old vice still; mistake the word. What
news, then, in your paper?
LAUNCE
The blackest news that ever thou heardest.
SPEED
Why, man, how black?
LAUNCE
Why, as black as ink.
SPEED
Let me read them.
LAUNCE
Fie on thee, jolt-head! thou canst not read.
SPEED
Thou liest; I can.
LAUNCE
I will try thee. Tell me this: who begot thee?
SPEED
Marry, the son of my grandfather.
LAUNCE
O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy
grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read.
SPEED
Come, fool, come; try me in thy paper.
LAUNCE
There; and St. Nicholas be thy speed!
SPEED
[Reads] 'Imprimis: She can milk.'
LAUNCE
Ay, that she can.
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