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237 I think just how my shape will rise --
When I shall be "forgiven" --
Till Hair -- and Eyes -- and timid Head --
Are out of sight -- in Heaven --
I think just how my lips will weigh --
With shapeless -- quivering -- prayer --
That you -- so late -- "Consider" me --
The "Sparrow" of your Care --
I mind me that of Anguish -- sent --
Some drifts were moved away --
Before my simple bosom -- broke --
And why not this -- if they?
And so I con that thing -- "forgiven" --
Until -- delirious -- borne --
By my long bright -- and longer -- trust --
I drop my Heart -- unshriven!
238
Kill your Balm -- and its Odors bless you --
Bare your Jessamine -- to the storm --
And she will fling her maddest perfume --
Haply -- your Summer night to Charm --
Stab the Bird -- that built in your bosom --
Oh, could you catch her last Refrain --
Bubble! "forgive" -- "Some better" -- Bubble!
"Carol for Him -- when I am gone"!
239
"Heaven" -- is what I cannot reach!
The Apple on the Tree --
Provided it do hopeless -- hang --
That -- "Heaven" is -- to Me!
The Color, on the Cruising Cloud --
The interdicted Land --
Behind the Hill -- the House behind --
There -- Paradise -- is found!
Her teasing Purples -- Afternoons --
The credulous -- decoy --
Enamored -- of the Conjuror --
That spurned us -- Yesterday!
240
Ah, Moon -- and Star!
You are very far --
But were no one
Farther than you --
Do you think I'd stop
For a Firmament --
Or a Cubit -- or so?
I could borrow a Bonnet
Of the Lark --
And a Chamois' Silver Boot --
And a stirrup of an Antelope --
And be with you -- Tonight!
But, Moon, and Star,
Though you're very far --
There is one -- farther than you --
He -- is more than a firmament -- from Me --
So I can never go!
241
I like a look of Agony,
Because I know it's true --
Men do not sham Convulsion,
Nor simulate, a Throe --
The Eyes glaze once -- and that is Death --
Impossible to feign
The Beads upon the Forehead
By homely Anguish strung.
242
When we stand on the tops of Things --
And like the Trees, look down --
The smoke all cleared away from it --
And Mirrors on the scene --
Just laying light -- no soul will wink
Except it have the flaw --
The Sound ones, like the Hills -- shall stand --
No Lighting, scares away --
The Perfect, nowhere be afraid --
They bear their dauntless Heads,
Where others, dare not go at Noon,
Protected by their deeds --
The Stars dare shine occasionally
Upon a spotted World --
And Suns, go surer, for their Proof,
As if an Axle, held --
243
I've known a Heaven, like a Tent --
To wrap its shining Yards --
Pluck up its stakes, and disappear --
Without the sound of Boards
Or Rip of Nail -- Or Carpenter --
But just the miles of Stare --
That signalize a Show's Retreat --
In North America --
No Trace -- no Figment of the Thing
That dazzled, Yesterday,
No Ring -- no Marvel --
Men, and Feats --
Dissolved as utterly --
As Bird's far Navigation
Discloses just a Hue --
A plash of Oars, a Gaiety --
Then swallowed up, of View.
244
It is easy to work when the soul is at play --
But when the soul is in pain --
The hearing him put his playthings up
Makes work difficult -- then --
It is simple, to ache in the Bone, or the Rind --
But Gimlets -- among the nerve --
Mangle daintier -- terribler --
Like a Panter in the Glove --
245
I held a Jewel in my fingers --
And went to sleep --
The day was warm, and winds were prosy --
I said "'Twill keep" --
I woke -- and chid my honest fingers,
The Gem was gone --
And now, an Amethyst remembrance
Is all I own --
246
Forever at His side to walk --
The smaller of the two!
Brain of His Brain --
Blood of His Blood --
Two lives -- One Being -- now --
Forever of His fate to taste --
If grief -- the largest part --
If joy -- to put my piece away
For that beloved Heart --
All life -- to know each other --
Whom we can never learn --
And bye and bye -- a Change --
Called Heaven --
Rapt Neighborhoods of Men --
Just finding out -- what puzzled us --
Without the lexicon!
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