IRIS
I come from the abode of the Olympian gods.
PISTHETAERUS
What's your name, ship or cap?[1]
f[1] Ship, because of her wings, which resemble oars; cap, because she
no doubt wore the head-dress (as a messenger of the gods) with which
Hermes is generally depicted.
IRIS
I am swift Iris.
PISTHETAERUS
Paralus or Salaminia?[1]
f[1] The names of the two sacred galleys which carried Athenian
officials on State business.
IRIS
What do you mean?
PISTHETAERUS
Let a buzzard rush at her and seize her.[1]
f[1] A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name also
meaning, etymologically, provided with three testicles, vigorous
in love.
IRIS
Seize me! But what do all these insults mean?
PISTHETAERUS
Woe to you!
IRIS
'Tis incomprehensible.
PISTHETAERUS
By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched woman?
IRIS
By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know.
PISTHETAERUS
You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present yourself
to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have you
a permit, bearing the seal of the storks?
IRIS
Am I awake?
PISTHETAERUS
Did you get one?
IRIS
Are you mad?
PISTHETAERUS
No head-bird gave you a safe-conduct?
IRIS
A safe-conduct to me, you poor fool!
PISTHETAERUS
Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into these
realms of air-land that don't belong to you.
IRIS
And what other roads can the gods travel?
PISTHETAERUS
By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't pass
this way. And you still dare to complain! Why, if you were treated
according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly
suffered death.
IRIS
I am immortal.
PISTHETAERUS
You would have died nevertheless. --Oh! 'twould be truly
intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone
continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit
to the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where
are you flying to?
IRIS
I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to
sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets
with the rich smoke of burning fat.
PISTHETAERUS
Of which gods are you speaking?
IRIS
Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.
PISTHETAERUS
You, gods?
IRIS
Are there others then?
PISTHETAERUS
Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus, that
they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!
IRIS
Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis
terrible indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would
annihilate your race; the lightning would strike you as it did
Licymnius and consume both your body and the porticos of your palace.[1]
f[1] Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style. --'Lycimnius'
is, according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides,
which is about a ship that is struck by lightning.
PISTHETAERUS
Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep quiet!
Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian[1] and think to frighten me
with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again, I shall go
at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and reduce his
dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.[2] I shall send more than six
hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins[3] up to heaven against
him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do. As for
you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching your
legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that despite
my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that will
make you three times over.
f[1] i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens
from these countries.
f[2] A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.
f[3] Because this bird has a spotted plumage. --Porphyrion is also
the name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave.
IRIS
May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!
PISTHETAERUS
Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look out for squalls!
IRIS
If my father does not punish you for your insults...
PISTHETAERUS
Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk than us
with your lightning.
CHORUS
We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city and
the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.
PISTHETAERUS
'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has never
returned.
HERALD
Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very
gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.
PISTHETAERUS
Get to your story!
HERALD
All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they
award you this golden crown.
PISTHETAERUS
I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?
HERALD
Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you
know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn
with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had
a mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men
went dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed.
Firstly, as soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together
to go and seek their food, the same as you do; then they fly off
towards the notices and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness
is so clear, that many actually bear the names of birds. There is
a halting victualler, who styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls
himself the swallow; Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark;
Theogenes the fox-goose; Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat;
Syracosius the magpie; Midias the quail;[1] indeed he looks like
a quail that has been hit hard over the head. Out of love for the birds
they repeat all the songs which concern the swallow, the teal, the
goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see wings, or at all events
a few feathers. This is what is happening down there. Finally,
there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming here from earth
to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you supply yourself
with wings for the immigrants.
f[1] All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build
of the individual to whom the poet applies them. --Chaerephon,
Socrates' disciple,
was of white and ashen hue. --Opuntius was one-eyed. --Syracosius was
a braggart.
--Midias had a passion for quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird
physically.
PISTHETAERUS
Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as possible
and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings. Manes[1]
will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome those
who present themselves.
f[1] Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.
CHORUS
This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.
PISTHETAERUS
If fortune favours us.
CHORUS
Folk are more and more delighted with it.
PISTHETAERUS
Come, hurry up and bring them along.
CHORUS
Will not man find here everything that can please him--wisdom,
love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?
PISTHETAERUS
Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?
CHORUS
Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I do,
and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass.
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